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I saw
what I've never wanted to see
I heard
What Iīve never expected
I cried
More than a thousand tears
I wished
It wouldnīt get worse, but better
But it didnīt change
So I shut my eyes
And saw what I wanted
I covered my ears
And heard what I knew
I turned away
And my tears dried soon
And now I live
In a perfect world
Without any people
I wrote this poem about how I think way too many people act these days a few months ago, and now I decided to upload it. Please tell me what you think of it!
:iconsister-sleep:
Sister-Sleep Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2006
Nice, but a little to straightforward for my tastes. Why not try using a few metaphors or some imagery?
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:iconchoco-muffin:
choco-muffin Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2006
Thanks ^_^ I'll try to follow your advice next time.
Reply
:iconsister-sleep:
Sister-Sleep Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2006
No problem, and honestly, don't be disheartened. ^^ It really is a very good concept and well expressed.
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December 20, 2006
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